Don't be too surprised that a man is responding to this - Dad's have experience too :-)
This is pretty normal - I endured it but worked through it. I found that routine worked for my daughter. Taking naps and going to bed at consistent times is important. Reading a story beforehand relaxed her and got her ready for sleep. You really have to refrain from entertainment (which is what they want) and let them relax. Also, staying close by helps them feel secure (I used to sit in a chair near her crib until she fell asleep, but didn't engage her, otherwise I'd be there all night).
As a last resort: One thing I - and several people I've known - have had luck with, is going for a drive in the car. Always worked like a charm (but don't do it very often or you'll be doing it all the time).
I don't agree that nobody is receiving help here. Help comes in various forms.
If people are looking to be financially RESCUED from situations that have long been needing addressed and have been allowed to reach emergency status, then I would say the most any the average visitor can do is give them some guidance to get them on the right track (to me, that has value). In those cases, a few bucks won't help and I, for one, don't throw good money at an incurable problem. We all have our own criteria for deciding who we help and nobody should be judged for it.
Here is what goes through my head when someone posts an urgent need:
1. How did they get themselves into this situation (for example, the family that can't feed four children, yet has another on the way probably won't get my sympathy for being irresponsible)?
2. How will a contribution actually help them in the long term (often times it's just a band-aid that's just deferring the inevitable)?
3. What is their plan for getting out of this mess (almost always, there isn't one)?
And that's what I call round 1 qualifiers.
In short, don't think that just because you post an urgent need that there are benefactors chomping at the bit to blindly hand over their money (would you??). You're going to have to do your part in solving your own problems.
From what I have seen in the posts, this site does more than any other to help you do that.
Folks, you can either do what everyone else is doing (i.e., follow the outdated standard templates that are "recommended" by bodies that don't hire anyone) or you can set yourself apart. Trust me - as someone who has not taught resume writing, but has actually hired and has been hired based on their resume - you have to break away in these competitive times. While there are four general types of resumes (chronological, functional, etc.), there are many, many templates to choose from.
An overview of the types of resumes (I prefer targeted):
in response to janasdreams...A different spin for white collars: Rather than a resume, build a profile on a professional networking site, such as linkedin.com. And, it is very appropriate to post a photo on your profile. People can judge you electronically, or in person.
Ways of landing an interview in tough times: From someone who has landed jobs and also recruited and hired in difficult economic times (not to repeat all the info on the web, but here are some tips that I know work - most applicable to white collar jobs):
1. If your resume is not accompanied by a very specific cover letter (one that lines up your skills with the job advertised), your odds of making it to the top of the pile are slim. Remember: The hiring manager isn't the one scanning for qualified applicants, it's usually an admin person. Make it easy and make it clear you are 100% qualified (create a matrix of the skills required vs. how you satisfy them). You'll increase your odds of making the short list.
2. If a job posting has a fax# (or you can look the company up and find their fax #), fax your resume and cover letter. People rarely do this, and a hard copy will be get more of a glance than an electronic version. Write a handwritten note on the cover page to personalize it.
3. If the job posting has a hiring manager and phone number posted (rare, but it does happen), take the initiative to call (PLAN what you are going to say beforehand!). You might catch them off guard, but you'll be remembered when resumes are being reviewed (and make sure you're remembered for the right reasons - that's an entirely different topic!).
4. Communicate the value you've provided in past employment, and the value an employer can expect. Don't just put together a chronological resume that states "did this, did that". It should be more like "did this, and the benefit was X". It's hard to do, and most people aren't comfortable with it, but it makes a difference. You have to WOW employers (you're one of many desperate for the job).
5. Toss away the notion of the one page resume. Unless you know the hiring person, it's not necessarily a good thing if it prevents you from telling all of your valuable history. Instead, write a rock solid cover letter that is very concise (see item #1). Whet their appetite, and they'll look at the remaining detail.
6. Rather than respond blindly to any opportunity with a generic approach, take control of your job search and get organized. Make a list of the companies you would like to work for and research them. Read their financials online (Yahoo business, for example) and read their executive bios. Create your case for why they should hire you. Then, start to find a way to get into that company (see next item).
7. The approach to getting an introduction to a company will vary between white collar and blue collar. A walk-in isn't unheard of in either case and might work best for blue collar jobs. Believe it or not, if your proposition is compelling enough, you can get a second look with an email subject line that grabs their attention. For example, I landed an interview once by emailing the CEO of a former competitor that read something like "Used to compete with you and never lost". Getting the CEO's email address was via simple guesswork (I researched the corporate website, used google, and once I found the naming convention they used, took a swag at the name and sent it off). Sometimes, it is best to email a VP since CEO's often have their email scanned by an admin (VP names and bios are usually listed in the "about" section of a corporate website).
8. Do your homework - if you have a name (either provided through networking, research, or an arranged interview), learn as much as you can about that person on the web and find a subtle way to relate (for example, if you find they went to Penn State, and you did also, it's a means to make a connection). Spokeo has proven very useful in researching business contacts or job applicants (although, there is an annual fee).
9. Research your web presence. THIS IS HUGE. An employer will - at a minimum - google your name and look for any dirt on you, and how you present yourself in public. I've researched nannies and job applicants this way and 50% of the time, I find something that puts me off. Example: Constant use of the "F-bomb" on twitter; photos with a recurring partying theme (i.e., all photos with alcohol in your hand); any photos that show you in "less-than-classy" attire or situation; Twitter posts that make it sound like you don't have it together. Clean up your web presence NOW. An employer most likely won't tell you what they find if it's negative, but they will just fall off the radar. Also, create a NEW PROFESSIONAL sounding email address for all job related communications (a new account won't have any links to any past social sites you may have created a profile on). Additionally, find ways to get your name on the web as a subject matter expert (sign-up for user groups, bulletin boards, etc. and post advice on a regular basis - make sure it's able to be linked back to you via name or email address). Make sure everything you post on the internet puts you in a positive light.
10. Develop a "Try it before you buy it" proposal. Come up with some compelling and creative way for the hiring manager to try you out. It can be a challenge (like "review our website and recommend improvements"), or a fixed amount of time (there are some cities offering a program for the unemployed to work for free for 30 days, with the option of retaining the person after that period.....many are retained). What do you have to lose except time (which you have plenty of, if you are unemployed). At a minimum, you might learn a new skill, or get a great reference out of it that can help you bridge to a better opportunity. Here is a great article about someone who used this approach: http://www.careerbuilder.com/Article/CB-1360-Getting-Hired-Try-Before-You-Buy-How-to-Get-a-Job-That-Doesnt-Exist/
LOL. A side to Starshine I've never observed before :-). I would also think breeding animals has some upfront cost (care, feeding, vets, etc.) that many here would not be able to bear.
Posted in How are you today? on Mar 10, 2010... modified on Mar 10, 2010
in response to Late bloomer...Which comment is neither "here" nor "there"? Mine or yours? I don't understand the point of your abstract comment, to be honest.
I'm not suggesting people stop posting. I'm suggesting that rather than consider every item of advice thrown over the fence, that people give credibility some thought. I can imagine it is extremely overwhelming to receive so many ideas in a desperate situation. I offer the same advice I would offer a friend: Consider the source and follow those that seem to have done it, or have some credibility. Of course people often follow what they are comfortable with (how many times do people take relationship advice from a close friend who has a string of failed relationships).
Thoughts on "taking advice": It's very easy to give advice here, but if you are the recipient, always follow-up with "and what have you done to prove this advice results in success?".
Would you take financial advice from a bankrupt accountant? No.
People tend to have an easier time giving good advice than following it. The true definition of success is not only giving sound advice, but demonstrating it.
Very good idea. I know someone who needs baby sitting.
The only issue is that it's very, very hard for folks to trust people to come into their home (especially enough to trust them around all of their personal belongings, etc.).
I had no idea. I checked and sure enough, it never posted. I notified PayPal and have a transaction number which I will send to you. Should be cleared up quickly.
Wizard's detailed tutorial of Paypal is useful and completely accurate. But, let's put the issue of "money being STOLEN from your account" to rest. It's the same process as reversing a charge in your checking account. If you deposit a fraudulent check and spend the money, you're going to have to pay it back. That isn't stealing (not by the financial institution), it's called a correction. Sheesh.
Posted in hoss20 on Mar 5, 2010... modified on Mar 5, 2010
I can't believe this wbsite totally blew away another response I've written!
Anyway: This post by Starrshine is total BULL. I've used Paypal for years. What you're reporting isn't possible. Paypal doesn't let you withdraw money from strangers, they can only pay you. And Paypal doesn't utilize account numbers for sending money to someone, it uses email addresses (which are then linked to account numbers that only the person with the password knows. Somewhere YOU messed up and allowed something to happen to you that should not have happened.
And wishuponahero is an awesome site that required NO PROOF or "personal documents" (Maybe you're thinking of modestneeds.org).
Again, make sure info you post here is correct.
Oh, and if you can think of a 100% guaranteed safe and convenient way to give or receive financial assistance, please let us know!
in response to hoss20...What was I thinking? I only saw the last post about not eating. Now I understand. May I ask: What does insulin cost? I really have no idea.
While there may be exceptions, what might have been true a couple of years ago, is not true today. Anyone who has applied knows the numbers sound plentiful, but there is fierce competition out there. I can't imagine how much time it would take to submit enough applications for individual grants of $100 or $1000 to fund an education and help raise your children. I recommend browsing this book at your local library or trying to find a used copy at Amazon.
Be aware there might also be Tax credits and funds if you live in a midwestern state that is still recovering from hurricanes. Also, I think I recall reading in a prior post about a potential learning disability: There's money for that too (but they aren't called "scholarships" :-)
Regarding your question about scholarships: You aren't going to qualify for a scholarship. The key word in that term is "Scholar". However, you could very well qualify for STATE aid. I've known a couple of women with children who have been granted over $30K/year just to go to school (it pays their schooling and their living expenses). Two have done it through major universities and one through nursing school. You have to goto the financial aid office of the school you are planning to attend to see what you qualify for. It's all handled through the university from what I understand.
